A Healthy Desire

“Desire is a firework, handled wisely it fills the night sky with light, color, beauty and delight. Handle desire poorly, and it can burn your neighborhood down.” (imperfect pastro p19)

So first, desire is a fuel. There are few things more invigorating on the mission to make disciples than feeling as though one is masterfully fulfilling their calling. The echo of a message delivered in skill, the satisfaction of a child hearing of Christ for the first time, seeing a new believer led to baptism through one’s own teaching, gathering the affirmation and praise of peers and other leaders. All of these things are powerful evidence of an answer to calling, a job well done, and a God moving in our midst. These things can and should fuel a desire within us for more opportunity, more responsibility, more challenges, more hills to climb and enemies to slay. Or may motivate us for the long haul of consistent year in year out ministry. The joyful and deep desire to carry out the mission is one that, once experienced, can be a powerful tool in the hands of any minister.

But there is a darker side to desire that can become very destructive. Whether it is the whispers of our enemy or simply the presence of our own flawed and prideful ego, righteous desire can easily conform to a selfish ambition if left unchecked. What was once the evidence of a calling being carried out through a loyal servant of our Creator, is made into an ugly stroke to an already overinflated ego. And what was once a desire to seek greater and greater victories for our King is turned into an impatient desire for one's own puffing up and collection of greater and greater personal praises. The same words from a church member; “your message really spoke to me today”, once would have been met with a simple “thank you”, becomes a crow bar for our own ego to strip off another chunk of humility from our already cracked and peeling self image.

So what do we do? How does one channel their desire properly and fuel their fire for the mission of Christ rather than the mission of self? I believe the secret sauce lies in a true and ever growing grasp of who we are, and who we serve. Put another way, the words of Jesus reign true. When asked which was the greatest commandment in the Law He replied “love God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind….Love your neighbor as yourself” (Mt 22:36-39) When one truly grows to love God, there will be little room for infatuation with one’s self. When someone commits to loving those around them, there will again be little space remaining for a puffed up selfish desire.

A love For God stems from a grasp of who He is, What He has done, and what that means for each of us. The truth is that as great and talented as any one of us may be, when confronted by the immense glory, love, mercy and generosity of our Creator, we will see that nothing we could desire beyond Christ, could add anything meaningful to what we have already. Quite contrary also is the fact that our deeds in our life, put in perspective do not earn us an inflated ego, but would earn only a tortured soul, were it not for this same grace that we are called to preach. To desire to love God is to desire to know Him. To desire to serve Him is to desire for His Glory. This is our place, it's our calling and it is our blessing. Truly, what desire we have for Him pales into comparison for His to us.