Fear vs. Truth

One of the questions that people ask each other as a “get to know you” kind of thing is the classic; “what is your greatest fear?” question. And the answer most people are looking for is not some kind of phobia like a fear of heights or big bugs (which are scary), they are looking for more significant things like the fear of being alone, fear of failure, embarrassment or some other deep seated category of fear that can have heavy influence on our decision making and life path in general.

In my case, it is a fear of wasting my life. I never want to get to a point where I look back at my life and wish I had done this or that thing, missing out on something amazing in my life, having passed up an opportunity to do something bold in my walk with Christ. In my response to this fear I will typically act in one of two ways. I would either make some rash or impulsive decision to avoid even dealing with the weight of it, or I would ignore it all together and never do anything. Sometimes the process of dealing with some heavy fear like this is more frightening for me than the fear itself. Crazy I know. In either case, I am left with the same risk, that I have wasted my time or energy in some way and will have deep regret because of it.

I have found, though, with these kinds of fears, there is always some deeper issue, some deeper layers of fear that this greater overarching fear is based on. In my example, the next layer down is in the fact that wasting my life and not take action on things is because of some other fears I have; fear of failing, embarrassment, lack of control, taking risks… these things prevent me from taking bold steps in my life and in my faith, resulting in time and life wasted living in fear of the unknown rather than in a bold faith. I have been presented with several opportunities recently that posed a great potential for very significant and public failure and embarrassment. I was asked in the last year to lead two ministries, build two teams, run the largest event our church has ever put on and preach two times. I also was faced with the decision whether or not to go ahead and seek a new dating relationship that I had considered for a long time already. All of these things come with great risk, great potential for public failure and shame if they were to go awry. And for this reason, I am tempted to either do nothing, or make some rash, impulsive and unwise decision just to get it over with.

But again, there is an even deeper layer that feeds into these things as well. It is usually some kind of insecurity within myself of some lie I am believing about my life that causes me to be paralyzed in some way when I am faced with a decision or opportunity like this. For example, if we look at being afraid of embarrassment; not taking action because I don’t want to look like a fool. The lie at the core of that fear is that I believe my value as a person is found in the opinions of others. I believe that if enough people think I am a fool, it may just be true of me. So, when it comes time to take a chance and try something that could lead to failure in some public form, I am fearful to take action as I don’t want to come closer to believing I am a fool, based on the opinions of others. So again, I don’t want to waste my life being afraid to take action because of a fear of failure and embarrassment, which is rooted in the lie that says my value is based on the opinions of others. I don’t want to believe I am a fool in the eyes of others because I just might believe them, and that thought is often unbearable to me. Whew.

But can I take this even one more step beyond this? As a follower of Christ we believe we are created in the image of Him who made us, loved and cherished by him in spite of our sin and flaws. Our Bible says that God loves us without condition, that he see’s who we truly are and loves us still. And beyond this, it tells us of promise after promise he makes to those who are called “his beloved”. And I find that most of these kinds of paralyzing fears I have, and many that I hear others talk about, are somehow tied to a lack of belief that God is who he is, and that his promises are true. And once we arrive at this core doubt or disbelief we can finally get to work on uprooting the fear at its base. We look into the lie we believe about God and replace it with the truth we can count on about Him. This will work its way back up the chain of thought all the way into the top level of our decision process.

Here’s how it works looking at the issue at hand; placing my value in the opinion of others, is a lie because others do not determine my value, Christ does. And Christ assigned me more value than any mortal man’s opinion can hold a candle to when he went to the cross for me. The precious blood of Christ is the highest price any person could ever fetch. This truth reframes the lie that I believe. It begins to unravel this system of fear in my mind by first eliminating the lie that is at the core of the problem; where my value comes from. If I free myself from that false belief I can then counteract the fears that stop me from taking bold action and in turn take those actions and live a riskier and more bold life, not wasting it, but making the most of it. It is that process of unraveling our fear, spotting the lies we believe about ourselves and about God, then countering them with the truth of the Gospel that will give us power and victory over fear. And it does not give us freedom to be rash or impulsive, but wholehearted in the things we know we are called to do and receive confirmation for.

Let’s look at another example for myself that I have had trouble wrapping my mind around for a long time until this concept was introduced to me. I have a deep desire to eliminate uncertainty in my future, I want to control and manipulate my life and the people around me to fit what I want the future to be. The fear is that I am afraid of the risk of the unknown. So, let me break it down like this;

- I am afraid of the unknown.

-I fear the unknown because I want to be happy with my life and that can only happen if it works out the way I want it to.

-I believe that the future is up to me to make the way I want

-I doubt God’s promise to work all things together in his perfect will

-I must learn to trust His will, study his word and look at what he has done in my life so far

-This allows me to trust that his will is better than my own, and his plans are better than mine

-Then I can release control of the future to him and stop myself from being so anxious about trying to make it fit into my own plans

-Then the unknown is no longer scary to me, but an exercise in my trust of the one who loves me more than I know!

This particular fear is best laid out in the example of deciding to enter a dating relationship or not. There are few circumstances I would like to control more or know the future of more exactly than this one. It also presents a significant risk of rejection as well. There is a huge risk in putting myself out there in such a vulnerable way with such an uncertain return on that risky decision. I will admit that the fear of this uncertainty and failure prevented me from taking that step for a great number of years, and did so well after I had met the person I recently did decide to ask to date. It was simply that I wanted to try and make every effort to eliminate mystery, to hedge my bets, to control the outcome. The idea of taking such big risks with such uncertainty was hard for me to deal with. And the core belief or lie here, is that God does not have my best in mind, and that I don’t trust him to run things well for me. The truth that I gets to the core of this is that God is the ultimate author of my circumstance and the master of outcomes in my life. His plans are greater than my plans, and I must trust him to guide my life into places I have no knowledge of. The truth is that he loves me more than I could know, and absolutely has my best in mind. If I am to believe that God is these things and that his promises hold true, I can take this bold step and risk rejection whole heartedly, leaving the details up to him. I don’t have to protect myself from the unknown because He has promised to do that for me. Now I would love to say that this has magically removed any anxiety or fear of the unknown from me, it has not. But each time I begin to see the risk ahead, the uncertainty of it, and try to start hedging bets or manipulating my world to fit my will, I am reminded of the truth that God loves me, will provide for me, and has greater plans for me than I do. I can take the next step into the fuzzy future without needing to know what’s at the end. I trust Him.

What a fruitful process this is. To be able to examine one’s own heart motives, spot lies and let the truth of the gospel do the work of renewing our minds and changing the way we navigate life. I have found that this process has given me so much liberation from these kinds of deep paralyzing fears. And while I would not say that I make major decisions quickly or that the uncertainty of the future is absent from them, I will say that it does offer me a great deal of freedom to make bold moves in directions which I don’t know the end result of. I can decide to go after projects, take on responsibilities and make decisions trusting that the author of my salvation is also the author of the outcomes in my life. The one who loves me more than anyone could imagine has not forgotten about me, and will act his will out in my life in radical ways. The decisions I make, my failures and successes, good moves and bad ones, even my petitions are already measured and accounted for by my great and powerful God. I don’t need to live in fear of wasting my life if I simply devote it to doing what he has set out for me to do. Believing it is up to me to make something of my life is the first step to living in fear of making mistakes in it. God builds a hedge of protection around us to know that even in our darkest day, we are secure in his love and destined for his eternal kingdom. With a God like this at the center of our life, we can’t mess it up. Rather, we can take bold and wholehearted action in the face of our fears knowing we are secure in spite of them. Freedom.

Lastly, I have found one passage of scripture so empowering. It is in the book of Isaiah Chapter 43 verses 1-7. This is a short passage of scripture directed toward the nation of Israel. But in light of the new covenant in Christ, it also applies to those of us who call Christ God today.

But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I give Egypt as your ransom, Cush and Seba in exchange for you. Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you, I give men in return for you, peoples in exchange for your life. Fear not, for I am with you; I will bring your offspring from the east, and from the west I will gather you. I will say to the north, Give up, and to the south, Do not withhold; bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the end of the earth, everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.”

All who call Christ Lord should take comfort in this passage. The God of the universe Is comforting us to know that we have no need to fear anything in this life. He tells us we are precious to him, loved by him, called by name, redeemed, made by him, and created for his Glory. With the creator saying this about us, we don’t have to fear anything! Powerful, lovely, and comforting is our savior. Imagine if we could truly live our life in light of this truth….